Question # 1
My age is fourteen years. I am a boy. Some of my older friends talk of things they do when no one is looking. They call it masturbation. Would you explain to me what it is? I haven’t tried it out yet because I am too scared. What I want to know is, is it safe for my age? What will happen if I do it?
The Expert's Answer
Masturbation is when you fondle your sexual organ, to get excitement. This excitement ends in a discharge of the semen from your organ. It is a normal thing boys do, but you must know that excess of anything is bad. It helps people to get some respite from their sexual cravings, and it is more common when the puberty sets in. Puberty happens when your body is maturing sexually.
Right now, you are just into puberty. That is the reason why you are becoming more conscious of your sexual organs. This is also the age when boys talk mostly about sex, as you have already heard in your friend's conversations. But you must be careful, since it is common to brag about sexual exploits at this age, mostly to younger friends.
About your question whether it is safe at your age or not, I would strongly recommend you not to indulge in it as of now. You are too young, and you may even end up injuring your organ trying it out. But the more serious issue is that your hormonal balances that are setting up in your body right now could be disrupted. When you do it, you will also feel much stressed out because of the heavy physical exertion involved.
Though it will not cause you to break out in pimples, or have warts on your hands as some people will tell you, it can certainly make you an addict. There is a danger that you may think of doing it all the time, even while you are in school, or playing football, for that matter. You wouldn’t want that to happen, would you? It is best to give it a rest right now. The sooner you begin it, the greater is the chance that you will be hooked on to it.
Question # 2
I am a boy studying in my tenth grade. I have been masturbating since two years. My problem is that I enjoy it too much. I have problems concentrating on my studies and my mind is full of dirty thoughts even when I am sitting at home with my folk. My parents are slowly becoming concerned about my frequent toilet breaks and are asking me about it. I think they know what I do in there, but don’t want to mention it. Is there some way I can stop this embarrassing habit? I am enjoying it too much to give it all up.
The Expert's Answer
That is exactly what happens when you begin doing it at a very young age. You begin liking it too much. Have you ever given it a thought – why did you start it in the first place? Have you had a very sheltered or a very lonely childhood? It is seen that boys do it much more when these happen.
To answer your question, there are certainly some very good ways in which you can stop doing it. If not stop, you can at least lower the frequency commendably. Sit back and think what kind of activity – besides it, of course – do you most like to do? If you like some kind of sport, join a club for it. Join a hobby class that you have interest in. Studies cannot take you away from it, in fact, they will create greater urge in you when you get bored. But if you do something you really like, you will not feel like masturbating.
Make some good friends and hang around with them. If you are the sporty type, involve yourself in some outdoor activities with your friends. That will really help. In short, do something you enjoy more than it. This will automatically reduce your urge. If you still think matters are not improving, you could try talking to your dad or a family doctor you trust. There are some counseling centers too where boys are helped to overcome their excessive urges.
Some modification in the diet could also help. Go easy on milk and milk products, and also reduce your intake of red meats. You must have more of fresh vegetables and fruits and nuts.
I would also say that it is not entirely wrong to do it, either. It is quite normal for your age. But you should go easy on the frequency. Anything in excess is bad. No one should do it more than twice a week if he needs to remain healthy. OM can reduce your semen, deplete you of energy, and can make you lose focus from your work, as you claim is already happening with you.
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